Baby Sitter of Doom
by Thunderstorm101
Summary: YGOCalvin and Hobbs xover. Roslyn can't take Calvin, but Ryoh can. With spirits and mysterious powers, what could go right? ON HAITUS
1. Not Roslyn?

**(A/N) **I know, I know. I shouldn't be starting a new fic, I should be posting the next chapter to Peace Never Lasts. I just wanted to see how this would fly. This is, of course, my first attempt at a Yuugiou/Calvin and Hobbs fic, so please tell me what I've done wrong, and I'll see about fixing it in future chapters.

As usual,

\.../ is hikari to yami

/…\ is yami to hikari

Disclaimer:

_Oh sad_

_I do not own_

_Anything that is here_

_And now I never will, either_

_Too bad_

Baby Sitter of Doom

Chapter 1

"Not Roslyn?"

Calvin bounced out of bed on Saturday morning, crying out a jovial "get up, Hobbs!"

Hobbs moaned and rolled over, his tail twitching.

"Calvin, it's too _early_. Wake me at noon."

"But it's _Saturday_, c'mon, Hobbs, let's watch cartoons!"

The tiger rolled out of bed and followed the six-year-old down the stairs. As Calvin prepared a bowl of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, Hobbs tuned on the TV to watch their cartoons.

As they were witting down to watch mind-numbing cartoons and eat sugar until Calvin couldn't stop twitching, Calvin's mother came downstairs and turned the television off.

"Mom, what was _that_ for?" Calvin whined.

"I need to tell you something."

"Can't it _wait_?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it's about the vacation your father and I are taking."

"What vacation?"

"Calvin, the one we've been telling you about all _week_. Now, Summer vacation just started, and your father and I will be gone for a few months. We were going to leave you with Roslyn—"

"_No_, not _Roslyn_! Not the barracuda in the high-school senior suit!"

"—but she won't be able to take you because she says she can't handle the stress."

"Whew!" Calvin had panicked when he heard his nemesis' name, but it looked like he wouldn't be stuck with her.

"We convinced a young man named Ryoh to watch you. He just moved here from Japan. We'll be leaving at noon, and he'll be here around one or one-thirty. Be good, and let him in when he shows up. He's very polite and has white hair."

"Got it, Mom. Let in the polite Japanese guy with white hair. Can I watch TV now?"

"If you must. Oh, before I forget, he also said that he would be bringing his roommate, Bakura, with him. Be good now, I have some last minute packing to do."

Calvin watched his mother go up the stairs before turning on the TV again. He wasn't really watching, though…he was planning. This Ryoh and Bakura would flee in terror from him. Mwahahahahahahaaaaaa!

To be continued…..

(A/N) I know, I know…short. If you like, review. If you don't like, review and tell me what went wrong. And if you're disappointed because the bishies aren't here, they show up in the next chappie.

So…. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!


	2. The Baby Sitter has Arrived

(A/N) My apologies for the short first chapter, it was the first one I actually wrote in a notebook. Also, I'm sorry that you couldn't see the section dividers in the first chapter, I'm trying to fix that problem, but it doesn't work so well and keeps screwing up my settings.

I hope you like my new habit of writing poetry for the disclaimer, and it's safe to say that they'll only get longer. Now, I'm going to be experimenting with different formats and styles of presentation and, while I will be happy to take suggestions, it may take a while before it goes into effect, because I've got a backlog of chapters in my notebook.

Keep in mind that if you don't like the length, all you have to do is say something, and the chapters will get either longer or shorter.

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Disclaimer:

_I do not own this_

_I merely write the fiction_

_And think up new plots_

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**Baby Sitter of Doom**

**Chapter Two**

"The Baby-sitter has Arrived"

"Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad! Have fun!" Calvin called as his parents carried their luggage out the door.

"We will!" his dad called back.

"Sweetie, be _good_!" his mom shouted as she backed out the door.

"Don't worry, I will!" Calvin yelled as the door closed.

"Not," said Hobbs, who was standing next to Calvin at the top of the stairs.

"So," Calvin began, "what to do before the sitters arrive…?"

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Meanwhile, said baby sitters were…lost.

\Yami-sama, I think we're lost./

/Of course we are, ahou! You're the one doing the navigating!\

\Maybe we should ask for directions/

/Maybe _you_ should ask for directions.\

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Hobbs grinned from ear to ear.

"What to do, indeed," he echoed.

"How about the transmogrification machine?"

"Naah…the cloning device?"

"_I_ know! We'll make a _body-swapper_!"

And so, the hunt for a cardboard box and a marker began. Once said necessary items had been located, the inventing process began.

Calvin used the marker to write "BODY SWAPPER" on the side of the upside down box, and drew a button with "30 sec" written on it.

"Ummm…how does it work?" Hobbs asked when Calvin announced he was done.

"Easy! One of us presses this button," he indicated the "30 sec" button, "to start it. Then we both go inside, and thirty seconds after the button was pressed, it puts us in each other's bodies!"

"Cool! Let's use it before the baby-sitters get here!"

"Yeah!"

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Meanwhile, the baby-sitters…had met Roslyn!

"Excuse me, miss, but I'm lost," Ryoh said, while tapping her on the shoulder.

"Mmmm? Where're you trying to go?" she asked.

"A nice couple asked me to watch their kid while they went on vacation. I've got the address, only I can't seem to find it."

"Alright, I'll take you there. I only just got out of watching the neighborhood terror, so I've got time to spare."

"Here it is!" Ryoh said cheerfully, handing Roslyn a slip of paper. However, when she glanced at it and went white, he got a sinking feeling.

\Yami-sama, I think we're watching the kid she's talking about./

/Really, Yadonushi-sama? May I send the terror to the Shadows?\

\No./

/Add him to our doll collection?\

\No./

/Scare him senseless when he misbehaves?\

\...yes./

/_Finally_, you say yes to something!\

"Hey…are you alright?" Roslyn asked in a worried tone. "I mean, your eyes glazed over and you spaced out."

"It's nothing, really. Happens all the time!"

"If you do that around Calvin, he'll eat…you…alive."

"I'm not worried."

"Maybe you should be."

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"How will I know when it's worked?" Calvin's voice wondered aloud.

"We've been in here for a while," Hobbs's voice answered.

"So let's get out."

"Good idea."

The cardboard box lifted up, and a boy and a tiger looked at each other.

"Aaaaaa!" they both yelled. Then, "you're _me_!" they cried out, and, "I'm you!"

"Cool," Calvin (in Hobbs's body) stated. "Hey…how come I want tuna?"

"How come I don't?"

"Maybe we've got each other's tastes now?"

"Weird."

Just as Calvin (now a tiger) and Hobbs (now a boy) were going to get Calvin some tuna—

—_Ding-dong_—

—the doorbell rang.

"Well, get it!" Calvin hissed.

"Your mom told _you_ to!" Hobbs replied.

"But you look like me now!"

"Oh, yeah…"

Hobbs opened the door, and gasped, backing up. For in the door stood none other than Roslyn, and, slightly behind her, a teen with white hair, brown eyes, and a glazed expression.

"C'mon!" he yelled, grabbing Calvin's arm and pulling him up the stairs.

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"And _that_," Roslyn commented, "is the terror himself."

"Oh, all right," Ryoh mumbled in a dazed way. "I'll just sit down and work a few things out."

"Here's my number," Roslyn said, handing him a piece of paper, "call me if there's trouble you can't handle."

"Alright," Ryoh mumbled, his eyes already glazing.

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(A/N) .

What on Earth compelled me to end a chapter there? But…that's how it is in my notebook, so you'll have to wait for the next one. I promise it's longer!

I tried a new divider, so tell me if it worked. Oh, and I'm pretty sure I wrote this chapter to classical music, but I'm not sure, 'cause it was a while ago. The next one, however, was written to Weird Al, so expect strangeness.

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Thanks to my anonymous reviewer, if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have bothered typing this thing into a computer. My joy cannot be expressed in prose!

_Thank you_

_You gave me joy_

_When you said you liked this_

_I hope you like the rest of it_

_So, thanks._

I sincerely hope you enjoyed my awful cinquain.


	3. Mind Controll

(A/N): I really am sorry that this thing took me so long I didn't mean to procrastinate like this. I just lost track of time and didn't feel like typing anything up, even though I knew you people were just waiting forever and ever for me to get off my lazy butt and just _update_ already. So, yet again, I'm sorry.

Disclaimer:

_Calvin and Hobbs are not mine_

_And neither are fork tines_

_These dividers I have borrowed_

_Faust's idea is harrowed_

Okaaay…that was random. There _are_ no fork tines in this. But the dividers really aren't mine. I just thought the dividers in Foust looked better then my numbers. As usual:

"Normal speech"

Mind speech 

Well, that's not normal, but I decided to change it for the sake of my poor hands. They really itch now that the burns I got from that stupid algae are going away. Stupid algae.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

"What was _that_ for?" Calvin exploded when Hobbs had finally slammed and locked the door to the room.

"Roslyn's here," Hobbs intoned, with the air of someone announcing the arrival of the Grim Reaper.

"_What_? Didn't Mom and Dad say _Ryoh_ was watching us? Him and Bakura?"

"I don't know about Bakura, all I saw was Roslyn and some dazed guy, Ryoh I guess."

"Do you think she could be using some sort of mystic powers to control his mind?" Calvin wondered.

"Could be. Oh, and Calvin?"

"Yeah?"

"We should switch our bodies back. I miss my tail."

"Yeah, and I suppose we should keep the Body Swapper secret, huh?"

"So lets go downstairs an use it, then!"

"Yes, we must change back before Ryoh can discover our Body Swapper and what it does, for if he _does_, and reports back to Roslyn, there's no telling what she will do!" And so saying, Calvin (who looks like Hobbs) bounded out of his room, and ran down the stairs, followed by Hobbs (who was in Calvin's body).

When they reached the living room, however, where the device was, they saw a thin teenage guy with white hair and glazed brown eyes sitting on the couch. He stared straight ahead, and didn't seem to register the boy in a tiger's body and the tiger in a boy's body.

"Okay," Calvin whispered, "you go into the machine, and I'll push the button then join you. We have to move _fast_, though, because there's no telling how long he'll stay simplified."

"Right."

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Ryoh had dropped onto the couch to work out some ground rules with Bakura.

You are allowed to _frighten_ him, Bakura. You are _not_ allowed to physically harm Calvin in any way, 

Aww… 

_nor_ are you permitted to remove his soul from his body, 

Kuso! 

Or swear aloud in his presence! 

So why are we watching him? 

His parents are paying us. 

Oh. 

Bakura was obviously annoyed by this, and was about to retort angrily when he felt a strange magic. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before, and was therefore an unknown. That meant it was dangerous.

He took over.

Yami-sama? Ryoh cried as he felt his dark partner seize control, What is it? 

I don't know. I felt magic. 

But the only one here besides us is Calvin, and he's only six! How could a six-year-old use magic? 

I don't know, Yadonushi-sama. This could be dangerous though. 

Just remember to make sure before you shoot! 

Right, right… 

Ya… was the last Bakura heard of Ryoh before he blocked out his voice. He would let his host see and hear and feel, of course, but the boy would be forced to be a mute observer.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

As Calvin pushed out of the Body Swapper, the first thing he noticed was that Hobbs was standing on his foot. The second was an evil pair of red eyes staring at him intently from the sofa.

"What have we here…?" intoned an evil voice. "A child and a tiger, or…" here he broke off to glace at the Body Swapper, "maybe it's the other way around."

"What are you?" Calvin demanded, feeling certain that the _new_ sitter was an even worse danger than Roslyn. He was certainly _evil_.

"I," here what Calvin _thought_ was Ryoh broke off to smirk, "am Bakura."

"I-I thought your name was _Ryoh_!" Calvin stuttered.

"No, Ryoh is your baby-sitter. _I_, however, an the evil spirit possessing his body."

Calvin swallowed. This was _bad_.

"What are you doing here? What do you want with us?" Hobbs managed to squeak.

"Hmm…so the tiger speaks," Bakura murmured. "Simple. I merely wanted to warn you…I will be looking for _excuses_ to torment you and Calvin." As he intoned this, the spirit patted Hobbs on the top of his head and chuckled.

"C-could you let our baby-sitter go now?" Calvin asked.

The spirit responded by chuckling darkly and tilting his head down so that his bangs covered his eyes. There was a brief glow from under his shirt, and he looked up with soft, brown eyes that Calvin had previously seen glazed over.

"Hello," the newcomer cheerfully greeted, "I'm Ryoh."

"I'm Calvin," Calvin began.

"Yes, I know," Ryoh interrupted. "I was watching the whole thing."

Calvin and Hobbs glanced at each other. This was…strange. How could Ryoh _possibly_ be so cheerful right after he was possessed? It didn't make sense.

"Hobbs, you ask," Calvin hissed, turning to his friend.

"Why _me_?" the tiger whined.

"Because you're the fearless tiger."

"And what if I don't _want_ to be the fearless tiger anymore?"

"Boys, _boys_!" Ryoh interrupted, "ask me _what_?"

"How can you be so cheerful right after being possessed by an evil spirit?" they exclaimed in unison.

"Let _me_ ask _you_ something," Ryoh growled in a low tone, hanging his head so that his bangs overshadowed his eyes, "how can _you_ be so _relaxed_ when that evil spirit could come back at any moment…?"

"Aaaaaaa! It's _Bakura_!" the boy and the tiger screamed as they hugged each other.

"Bakura" tossed his head up, revealing amused brown eyes. "No," he said, "it's only Ryoh doing his Bakura act." Ryoh smiled brightly, then flopped down on the couch. "I'm going to have a talk with Bakura. You boys behave yourselves while I'm gone, or Bakura might come out…okay?"

"Okay," agreed Hobbs. Then he nudged Calvin with an elbow.

"Huh? Oh…okay," Calvin mimicked.

As Calvin and Hobbs turned their backs on their oblivious baby-sitter, they glanced at each other. This was going to be a _long_ Summer.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

(A/N): Whew! I thought I'd _never_ get done typing that up! I've even got writer's block on chapter five…oh the joys _that_ will be to break through.

Just so you people who like this fic know, I have absolutely no plan whatsoever for this story, so if you give me a suggestion in a review, odds are that it will be used eventually. So, yeah…

OK, acknowledgement time!

**Randomreviewer:** thanks, the body-swapper just came off the top of my overactive imagination.

**Kayrie:** yeah, and I'm glad you liked the chapter. Sorry I took so long to get this one out. Yes, it is fiction, and the Body Swapper is not the strangest thing that is to be happening.

**Happiness's Deceit:** I am really _really **really **_sorry I took so long to update. REALLY sorry. I'll try to be faster with the next chapter.

**Magical-wildgirl:** thanks, I'm glad you think it's funny. And I'll let you all know what happens when Calvin really irritate Bakura…just as soon as I find out what it is. I do know one thing, though…trouble for EVERYONE.

**Los Angeles-Angelic Psycho:** I'm sorry I took so long, new chapters are on the way, and I've changed the dividers. I'll keep them up like this if you don't mind. I aim to please!


	4. Monsters

(A/N) Yes, I am a bad girl. I should update more often. I should not loose my notebook. Blah blah blah…

(B)(S)(O)(D)

For the last time, all I own is the ram stick I save my fics on and a CD player that barely works! So _stop asking_!

(B)(S)(O)(D)

**Chapter Four**

**Monsters**

Calvin sprawled out on his bed and sighed. "Hobbs," he said, "what are we gonna do?"

"Whatever do you mean, Calvin?"

"Our baby-sitter's _possessed_! Ryou's OK, I guess, but there's no telling what Bakura'll do next. He could kill us, or tie us up, or feed us to the monsters under the bed!"

(B)(S)(O)(D)

/Yami-sama, what _was_ all that about? You think _Calvin_ has magic/

/Yes, but I don't know what kind…/

/Please _please_ don't harm Hobbs or Calvin in _any_ way, don't try to steal Calvin's magic and take over the world, and try not to use Shadow Magic./

/Huh/

/We've never encountered any other kind of magic, so there's no telling what Shadow Magic will do to it./

/But…Yadonushi-sama, what about the leakage from the Ring/

/Just don't use it any more that you have to, all right/

/Fine…I can use my knives to defend us, anyway./

/Us and Calvin./

/What ever./

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Calvin jumped when the curtains closed by themselves. Unpleasant laughter began to emanate from under his bed.

"C'mon!" Hobbs shouted, picking up Calvin and fleeing the room as the lamp turned off and hideous, tentacled monsters came out from under Calvin's bed.

"Get him!" they cried, and "I call the left leg!" and "No _fair_ I want that one!" as they chased after Calvin and Hobbs.

"To the living room!" Calvin shouted.

"Why there?" asked Hobbs.

"If Bakura comes out, he'll fight the monsters, and we can escape in the confusion!"

"Yeah, we'll hole up at Susie's!"

"If we must…" Calvin wearily conceded.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Yet again, and without warning, Bakura took control of Ryou's body.

/What…/ Ryou weakly asked, before loosing consciousness.

/Yadonushi-sama/ Bakura called. Then he sensed some _very_ strong magic coming down the stairs. Just before he could see what it was, the curtains closed by themselves, the lights snapped off, and he heard the front door lock itself.

The spirit pulled out the Sennen Ring and caused it to glow, so he could see.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Just before Calvin and Hobbs could get to the living room, everything went dark. They kept running, though, because they could _hear_ the monsters behind them.

When they managed to reach the living room, they saw that it was illuminated by a glowing pendant, above which they could see feral red eyes.

"Do I even _want_ to know what you did?" Bakura growled.

"B-Bakura," Calvin squeaked, "the monsters from under my bed are on the move!" As he made this declaration, Calvin pulled Hobbs around behind the possessed baby sitter.

"Oh, this is just _great_," Bakura said sarcastically, "and I suppose they're huge and ugly with great, long tentacles, right?"

"How'd you know?" Hobbs whimpered.

"Because they're here," the spirit growled, tensing. "You boys hide behind the couch while I see if knives are any good against these things."

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Bakura flicked the knives out of his sleeves, one in each hand, and darted forward toward the encroaching monsters.

"Yaaaah!" he yelled, slicing off a tentacle as it reached for him. /Now would be a good time to _wake up_ Yadonushi-sama/ he called in frustration.

"Heheheheheheheh….he won't wake," one of the monsters chuckled.

"What do you mean…?" Bakura growled menacingly.

"I mean," the monster sneered, "that your poor, foolish host's mind has been _overwhelmed_ by the sheer power of our magic!"

Bakura glowered at the monsters, and fought furiously, spraying green ichors all over, but the tentacled abominations had him surrounded.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Calvin and Hobbs watched the scene with growing horror. As scary as Bakura was, all he'd said he intended to do was terrorize them. The monsters from under the bed wanted to _eat_ them alive!

"I have an idea," Hobbs whispered, pulling Calvin out of his horrified stupor.

"What?" the boy asked, watching as one of the uglier monsters wrapped a tentacle around Bakura's waist and lifted him into the air, ripping his shirt apart in the process.

"If we can light the room up, those monsters will shrivel and die."

"Good idea, Hobbs, but how can we light the room up? The curtains are closed, the door is probably locked, and if we move, we'll be _monster bait_."

"The door locks from the inside, so we can get it open, but we'll have to do it while the evil spirit is still distracting the monsters."

(B)(S)(O)(D)

"Aaaauuughh…" Bakura moaned. He was being held up by the thick, rubbery tentacle around his waist. His shirt had been torn apart in the fight, and if he got out of this with his host's body intact, Ryou would have something to say about what would probably be some very nasty sucker wounds.

Wait, why was he worrying about what Ryou would have to say about the sucker wounds on his abdomen when the monsters from under a six-year-old's bed had finally managed to disarm him?

Another monster wrapped two tentacles around his wrists, and a third wrapped tentacles about his ankles. The firs one let go and the ones that still held him moved him about so that he was spread-eagled about four feet above the ground.

'Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit…_Ryou's going to die and these stupid monsters are going to get my Ring_…oh shit oh…' he thought as the tentacled creatures inspected him.

"I want a leg!" one cried.

"No way, Sidney," said the one that had picked him up and disarmed him, "I get first dibs. You can have the liver."

"I don't want no stinking _liver_," Sidney complained.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Calvin and Hobbs had made it to the door.

"Great," Calvin muttered, "it _is_ locked."

"So _un_lock it," Hobbs hissed.

"I'm…trying…" Calvin replied in a strained voice. Then…"GOT IT!" he shouted, pulling the door open.

Light flooded into the building from the open door. The hideous monsters shrieked as they were vaporized.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

When sunlight flooded the room, Bakura allowed the light of the Sennen Ring to fade. The monsters holding him shrieked as they died, banishing in the pure light.

He dropped to the floor and lay there, the sucker wounds on his abdomen dripping blood.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

The good cheer of the young heroes was cut short by a thud and a voice grunting from the pain of the impact.

Calvin and Hobbs exchanged glances.

"Bakura," they said in unison. Although for some strange reason, the name of the ancient spirit no longer frightened them, they were still wary of approaching him.

"Bold, fearless _tigers_ first!" Calvin giddily laughed.

"No, no…_heroes_ first. I _insist_. You're the one that got to the _door_ and finally defeated the _monsters_, after all!" Hobbs dodged.

However, neither one, tiger or boy, got a chance to check on the ageless specter possessing their baby-sitter, because the prone figure sat up, and, in soft, harmless tones, murmured, "did anyone get the number of the spell that hit me?"

(B)(S)(O)(D)

(A/N) does victory dance

OK, you weren't supposed to see that. But this is the first time one of my fics went over four pages! Yaay! Please R&R. It's only polite.


	5. Into the Fire

(A/N) So sorry about the wait. You know how things are! Also, I beg you to forgive me for the rather pointless story about myself that I am about to tell you.

I attend Reseda High School, right near the borders of Reseda and Tarzana. As I type this Author's Note, there is a brush fire in the hills surrounding the San Fernando Valley, in other words, where I live. The air quality is so bad that I hesitate to go outside without a make-shift mask (bandana) tied around my mouth and nose, because my sense of smell is very sensitive, and it's literally raining white, gray, and black ashes outside.

My school has a blacktop, like just about every other school out there, but today the blacktop was more like the graytop. See what I mean? It's really, _really_ bad around here; they're even evacuating people.

Of course, it was much worse a couple of years ago. I even missed two days of school because simply going out of the house restricted my breathing, bandana or no, and the ash was falling thick and fast. Not only that, but my school really should have been closed. It was so close to the fires, that if you looked up at the hills, they would be glowing red and orange with flame, and you could see the thick black smoke pouring out over the valley.

When the entire sky is covered in smoke, the sun turns an angry red color, because that's the only shade that can get through. Today, when I was walking around school, everything was tinted red. The cement, papers, even my skin, which is normally the color of peaches or milk, depending on how much sun it gets and the lighting, was an angry red color, as though I'd been burned.

OK, that's enough of my rant on brush fires. On with the fic!

/Ryou to Bakura/

Bakura to Ryou

But…before that, I do not own Yugioh, or Calvin and Hobbs, or Home Alone. OK? Good. Now…. on with the fic!

**(B)(S)(O)(D)**

**Chapter Five**

_Into the Fire_

Calvin jumped up and gave Ryou a hug, and Hobbs wasn't far behind.

"Ryou!" Calvin practically shouted, "you're _back_!"

"You're OK!"

"You're not hurt!"

"What _happened_?" Ryou burst in. "Why are yami-sama's knives embedded in the wall? Why is my favorite shirt decimated? _How come I have oozing sucker wounds on my abdomen_?"

Calvin and Hobbs slowly blinked, then looked at each other. "_You_ explain!" they cried in unison.

"Never mind," Ryou sighed. "Just tell me why the door's open, and we can save the rest for later."

"Err…we…wanted some…fresh air?" Calvin hazarded.

"If you wanted some fresh air, why not pen a window?"

"Because…they were all stuck!" Hobbs exclaimed.

"Why were…" the babysitter trailed off as his eyes slid out of focus, then turned red.

"_I'll_ explain," Bakura growled. "Now, how about we take all the curtains off the windows and close the door so those stupid things can't come back and pretend I'm a wish-bond again?"

"R-right…" Calvin stuttered. Then he, Hobbs, and Bakura ran around the house, taking the curtains off the rods and putting them in boxes.

"Calvin, think _carefully_," Bakura began, "has this ever happened to you before?"

"No, not the monsters under the bed. Killer mutant snowmen once attacked me, but the monsters under my bed don't come out during the day. Well…they haven't before now. If they could, why didn't they? Why did they wait?"

"They didn't because they couldn't, they waited until they could. And they'll likely try it again, so we'd best be on our guard."

"I've got a question," Hobbs began, not taking the warning of Bakura's expression, "where did they get the ability to do this now? Why not before?"

**(B)(S)(O)(D)**

Bakura narrowed his eyes, contemplating the tiger's question. "Why now indeed…?" he muttered.

/Yami-sama, what are you talking about/

Shh. The monsters under Calvin's bed used magic to knock you out, then tried to kill us.

/Oh./

**(B)(S)(O)(D)**

Calvin looked at the spirit nervously. Bakura seemed to be deep in thought. He jumped slightly when the ancient thief took a step toward him.

"Wh-what do you want?" the boy stammered.

"I'm not going to harm you…I just want to see if you natural magic is potent enough to accidentally give those monsters of yours a power boost."

"Hey, wait a second!" Hobbs cried out. "You mean…_Calvin_ can do _magic_?"

"Yes, of course. I wouldn't have come out in the first place if I hadn't sensed unknown magic." Then he swiftly stepped toward Calvin and picked him up. "Hmmm…" he mumbled as he looked the child over. "No…you _couldn't_ have done that by yourself…"

"C-couldn't have done w-what?" Calvin stuttered, trying not to show how nervous he was.

"Why…unleashed those monsters that nearly broke this body in four," the spirit chuckled darkly, "and if _that_ had happened, I would be in need of a new _host_…now wouldn't I?"

Calvin swallowed hard as Bakura's red eyes stared directly into his own. At that moment, he felt as though the spirit didn't care _whose_ body it was in.

He was about to speak when Bakura's left arm raised, and proceeded to slap the spirit on the face.

"That's it…" he growled, his tone promising trouble for someone. The his red eyes glazed and slid out of focus.

**(B)(S)(O)(D)**

Yadonushi, there had _better_ be a good reason for that…

/You threatened to posses a little kid. Yami-sama, he's only six/

So…? You were eight when I first possessed you. Besides, it's true. If you get killed on this little baby-sitting stunt, he _is_ the nearest person with any magic. Besides…he was getting on my nerves.

/Still…scaring him like that…/

**(B)(S)(O)(D)**

"Hobbs," Calvin hissed, nervously staring at Bakura, "I think we need to do a little 'set up'."

"What do you mean, 'set up'?"

"I mean, we should rig the house so Bakura can't get at us. You know, like in Home Alone."

"Calvin, there's a big difference between _this_ and Home Alone, and that is that in Home Alone it's two bungling burglars. Here, we're dealing with a possessed baby-sitter."

"Aw, c'mon, Hobbs, we can do this!" and with that, Calvin dashed off to find the materials he would need to deter and possibly trap Bakura so that Ryou could come out.

**(B)(S)(O)(D)**

Bakura's internal conversation ended three hours later. The spirit looked about. The brat and his pet tiger where nowhere in sight! Growling softly to himself, Bakura began to regret his method of winning that little argument.

Yes, that's right…he knocked his host out. Now _he_ would have to find the kid and maybe even make dinner! Great, just great.

Lost in his own thoughts, the spirit stepped forward…and hit a tripwire. His blood red eyes widened in horror as a paint can full of whitewash dropped onto his head, spilling all over his bare chest and splattering onto his jeans.

Bakura growled deep in his throat, already thinking of things to do to that damn stupid _brat_. He headed for the stairs, deciding to check Calvin's bedroom. He was so furious that he didn't notice the marbles until it was too late.

There was a loud crash as the spirit fell down the stairs, and a snarl as he landed on the sucker wounds.

**(B)(S)(O)(D)**

Calvin and Hobbs grinned and high-fived each other from their room when they heard a crash and a loud snarl. The plan was working perfectly. With luck, this was one spirit that would never bother _them_ again.

**(B)(S)(O)(D)**

(A/N) It seems that I cannot say this enough times. Please, please, please review this fic! Yes, it will be updated eventually whether you do or not, but much, much, much sooner if you do!

Besides. Every review I get shapes the way the story goes. The plot itself is flexible, and every review twists it just a little bit, because a straight one is really boring.


	6. Home Aloneor Not

(A/N)

Yes, I am aware that I took ages to update. I took ages to write the chapter, so I suppose that's understandable. And aside from that, I'm not all that fond of typing something up once it's been written, so blame the lateness on my laziness and procrastination when it comes to homework, all right?

Still not used to high school

(B)(S)(O)(D)

**Chapter Six**

**Home Alone—or Not**

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Bakura slowly picked himself up. First whitewash, and now marbles on the stairs. He growled in a low tone as he began to move carefully, trying to get to Calvin's room without hurting himself.

"Calvin, Hobbes," he called, "get _down_ here!"

"Not a chance!" the boy exclaimed, opening the door of his room.

The spirit growled, his eyes flashing blood red. "If don't get down here _this instant_, I won't do anything worse than making you help clean up."

"Hmmm…no, thanks," Calvin grinned evilly before closing the door to his room.

Snarling, the spirit slowly climbed up the stairs, moving cautiously, senses alert for more traps. What a shame that Calvin and Hobbes had been prepared for that.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Calvin smirked evilly as the possessed baby-sitter began to move slowly up the stairs, body tense and senses apparently on high alert for more booby traps. However, a booby trap is something that was set down for the victim to activate, and the next phase was something totally different.

The child carefully took aim, and pulled the trigger on his water gun. He hit the dark spirit full in the face. Bakura growled at the six-year-old terror, and wiped some of the water away with his hand.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Bakura hissed as the movement of his arm caused the drying whitewash to crack, irritating his sucker-wounds. This kid was getting to be more trouble than he was worth. If Calvin did this sort of thing routinely, it was no wonder that the menace's regular sitter had warned Ryou against this job. Too late now, though, Bakura was stuck watching the boy.

Yet again, he attempted to make Calvin see reason.

"All right, kid, I despise you, and it's _painfully_ obvious that you don't like me all that much, either. However, I really don't think that _either _of us particularly wants to be held responsible if Ryou wakes up and sees this mess."

"Oh? And _what_, exactly, would Ryou do? He seems harmless enough. Besides, you're only trying to trick me into going where you can get at me, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not, and he _could_ fix nothing but meatloaf the whole time he's watching you. He did it to a kid he was taking care of once; oatmeal for breakfast, salad for lunch, and meatloaf for dinner. Every day for a month."

"That doesn't sound so—" Calvin was cut off.

"And no snacks, either," Bakura interrupted.

"What about tuna-fish?" Hobbes inquired. "Would I get tuna-fish?"

"Not if Ryou thought you had anything to do with it you wouldn't."

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Calvin glanced over at his comrade in arms, and best friend, and saw that the tiger was about to snap from the prospect of not being allowed to have any tuna fish.

"Hobbes," he hissed, "it's a trick. Bakura's lying to get us to come down so he can get his hands on us."

"Do you really think so?" Hobbes whimpered, still thinking of a fish-less nightmare.

"Yes, I really think so," Calvin reassured.

"Get _down_ here!" they heard the sp9irit shout. "Calvin, Hobbes, get down here _this instant_!"

The boy and the tiger looked out the doorway to see the dark spirit still trying to get to them. He didn't look so good, either, with dry, cracking whitewash all over him, and the tattered remains of Ryou's shirt still hanging off his shoulders. As they watched, Bakura stepped on the string that would send the barbells flying at him.

The spirit's eyes widened, the angry blood red dulling to a surprised garnet as the weights hi the back of his head. He collapsed.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Bakura was so intent on getting at the little brat and sending him, and his tiger friend, on a short "vacation" that he didn't notice the string until he stepped on it.

Shock coursed through the spirit. A trip-wire. He'd set off another trip-wire. Before the could do anything other than realize what had happened, pain exploded in the back of his head. The last thing the millennia old thief thought before it all went black was _'Damn. I'll bet Ryou'll be upset when he finds that bump.'_

(B)(S)(O)(D)

"Calvin!" Hobbes shouted, panicked, "we have to make sure he's all right!"

"Why? He's an evil spirit."

"But he's _still_ our baby-sitter."

"Oh, fine," the blonde boy grumbled, but he walked over to the fallen thief anyway. "Well, he's breathing, and his head's not bleeding, so I don't think we should worry."

"Oh, that's good," Hobbes sighed in relief.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Calvin smiled slightly at his friend's relief, before he realized something.

"Hobbes…he's going to be really mad when he wakes up."

"Calvin, I think you're right. What do we do?"

"We should make some sandwiches, grab some candy and comics, and retreat to the tree house! That way he won't be able to get us."

"Good idea!"

The two miscreants fixed four tuna sandwiches, four peanut butter sandwiches, grabbed the cookie jar, and filled Calvin's school backpack with comic books. Then they headed out to the tree house, which, fortunately, was already well stocked with water balloons, just in case Susie Derkins mad a surprise visit. After all, GROSS (Get Rid of Slimy girls) just had to be prepared.

As Hobbes climbed up the tree with the pack, Calvin tried to think of things they could do to avoid Bakura's wrath.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

Ryou moaned as he woke up. He hurt _all over_.

Bakura? he called, Bakura, why do I have the feeling that this is your fault?

There was no reply.

"Fine, then," Ryou sighed. Then, "Calvin? Hobbes? What happened here?"

After calling for a little, Ryou realized what a mess the house was. In fact, it was even worse off than him, and _he_ was covered in whitewash.,

"_Calvin_!" the pale baby-sitter shouted, furious.

(B)(S)(O)(D)

(A/N)

While I realize that this is a short chapter and so should have been easy to type, I've got the evil CRAMPS, and can't sit still because _it hurts it hurts it hurts_ and so on and so forth.

To get an idea of what this feels like (if you're a guy, or your cramps aren't as bad as mine) it's like someone hit my back on either side of my spine with a sledge hammer and locked my intestines in the same position. KK? Good, I'm glad you get the picture.


End file.
